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| Oh well, it turns out that I'm a huge jerk. I haven't updated my
xanga lately and the reason is entirely selfish. Its because the
thing that I'd like to write about is baseball, and ever since Game 4
of the ALCS, thoughts of baseball have been depressing to me. I
haven't looked at espn.com in weeks because I haven't wanted to see
what it has to offer. I think maybe its safe now, because I doubt
if there is anymore coverage of the Yankees awful loss.
The thoughts that I'd like to express here today are about Red Sox
fans. These comments do not apply to all Red Sox fans.
Certain fans, like my friend Robin for example, never gave up hope when
the Sox were down 3-0 to the Yankees. She was spotted on a
Rutgers bus before ALCS Game 4 screaming, "I BELIEVE!" into her cell
phone to her Red Sox fan friend on the other end of the line. As
much as I disagree with her decision to be a Red Sox fan, I respect her
and other fans like her for sticking with their team and not giving up
despite the bleak outlook.
Baseball is a game that doesn't end until the last out of the last
inning has been recorded. Anyone who doesn't understand this and
truely believe it is not a true baseball fan. Regardless of
whether someone roots for the Yankees, the Red Sox, or some team that
is never even near contention like the Mets, they are not true fans
unless they understand and believe and act on the fact that no game or
series is lost until the last out of the last inning is recorded.
(If that was a run-on sentence, and that bothers you, please stop
reading now and go put sharp things in your eyes.) Anyone who
claims to be a fan of baseball, or a fan of a certain baseball team,
but is willing to give up on a team before a game or a series is over,
is nothing short of a liar and it is unfortunate that they go around
masquerading as a fan of their team and the sport of baseball.
The point of all this is to say that I read a disturbing number of
articles online and heard sentiments from a large number of Red Sox
fans that the ALCS was over after Game 3. Of all the Red Sox fans
that I know, only ONE of them even watched Game 4. Bill Simmons
(a writer on espn.com and huge Red Sox fan) got out of his seat at
Fenway during the 7th inning of Game 3 and left the stadium because he
had given up on his team. I think its safe to say that 90% of Red
Sox fans had given up on their team. The fact that they gave up
shines light on their claims of fanaticsm and exposes them for what
they really are: disgusting lies.
Yet these same fans that had given up on their team, that got out of
their seats and left Fenway Park before the completion of Game 3, and
that found better things to do than to watch Game 4, are the first in
line to celebrate a Red Sox World Series victory. They talk about how they've
been loyal fans for all of these years, and that finally something good
has happened for their team. They wear Red Sox Championship
shirts and exclaim, "We did it!"
Sorry folks, but if you gave up on your team at any point, you didn't
do anything. The only thing you did, in my opinion, was lost your
right to celebrate the victory. Any Red Sox fan that gave up on
their team at any point but is celebrating now is crashing a party to
which they were not invited. Their celebrations are so contrary
to anything and everything that baseball stands for.
Imagine a situation like this: I understand that baseball is not
war and that its borderline inappropriate to make a comparison like
this. But imagine a situation in a war where a group of troops
needs to go into an enemy territory and accomplish a nearly impossible
mission. As they approach the target or whatever they are
approaching, it begins to look as if their odds are success are even
smaller than when they first began. (ie losing the first 3 games of a 4
game series). A large portion of the troops decide that they
don't think that they can do it, and they turn around and go
back. A small percentage remain strong and press onward.
They reach the target and begin to accomplish their mission.
Success starts to become more and more probable. (ie winning games 4,
5, and 6). The troops who had initially retreated look in and
say, "Hey, we can do this!" and they rush in with the rest of the
troops and accomplish the rest of the mission (winning game 7.)
Then when the mission is complete, the troops who had given up and
pulled away begin celebrating with the others, saying, "We did
it!! We accomplished the mission!" Actually, you didn't
accomplish anything. You ran away scared with your tail between
your legs, and proved that you only wish to be involved when things are
going well. You are in no way associated with any contributions
that were made to the victory.
Hopefully you can see the parallel that I'm trying to draw here.
Once you give up and pull out, you're done. You're not part of it
anymore. You're celebrating a victory that does not belong to
you. Any of the Red Sox fans who have done this are a disgrace to
themselves, to their team, to the sport of baseball, and to
humanity. If I were able to identify the imposters, I would take
each and every one of their Red Sox hats, shirts, and other
paraphernalia and torch them. They are merely counterfeits of
they were intended to be.
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| I just got an e-mail. It is FROM (not "the subject is", but "it is FROM"):
"NixonWendycooky crandall grill chelate sedulous cake resplendent carrageen alsatian housewife astonish anchovy workday donaldson anarchy crate bookkeep cia do donnybrook minute"
I'm not sure whether this has to do with food, the government, an adult website, or some kind of crazy combination of the three. But go back and actually read each word (don't just skim over it) and see if you can get to the end without laughing. I bet you can't do it. My personal favorite combinations are "anchovy workday" and "cia do donnybrook." Also, any use of the word "bookkeep" is always worthwhile. | | |
| DISCLAIMER: The following post makes many references to vomit. You might want to get a bucket before you read it.
The Yankees just lost game 4 of the ALCS to the Red Sox. This shouldn't be such a big deal, considering the 3-1 series lead that the Yankees still own, but something about it is unsettling to me right now. I've been laying in my bed for the 30 minutes since the game was completed, and I can't get comfortable and I don't feel tired. I'm not even thinking of the game anymore, but there is a whole spectrum of things going through my mind.
The first thing is the alarming increase in the frequency with which I randomly see vomit on campus. (sorry if this is gross). It is usually more prominant on weekends, but it is pretty much available on an everyday basis. For example, last Tuesday I spotted some outside of Neilson Dining Hall. It was right on the new section of sidewalk that they just put in. What a way to make your debut as a sidewalk - covered in chunks.
Another common area for sightings is in the parking deck. I feel as if the completion of each weekend brings a new corner in the parking deck (or its stairwell) that needs to be defiled. Assuming that the cause of the sickness is excessive drinking, I'm not entirely sure what people are doing walking to their cars at this point. If you are so drunk that you are being sick, I suggest you reconsider driving.
Anyway, the funny part of all this is a comment that a friend of mine made in the car today while we were driving through one of the aforementioned parking decks. "I saw a group of pigeons before, and they were eating vomit." I understand that pigeons are very stupid, but it takes a special kind of stupidity to eat vomit. People will argue that you shouldn't eat animals because they have feelings too - I think you can cross pigeons off this list. I'm very skeptical of what sort of feelings a pigeon has, if one of them isn't "Don't eat vomit."
Well this was all unnecessarily gross. Sorry to all of my readers. I'll try to avoid any potentially disgusting bodily functions in my next post. Except farts. I am always allowed to talk about farts.
GO YANKEES. | | |
| A quick addition for today - a blurb of conversation between me and my brother Eric (not my other brother). I was finding a disturbing number of articles by Red Sox fans who have all but given up hope that the Sox can win it this year. I think they are making a terrible error. But here is the conversation. Look at how funny my brother Eric is:
ME: it sickens me that sox fans act like this and then think that they deserve good things to happen to them
ERIC: Yeah. Well its a reflection of the team itself. Its a team of clowns. Carlos was stating to me the other day what a good chemistry the Sox have together. Which is true, but its a chemistry based on being fools and having wacky hair. Which is a chemistry conducive to playing well as a team, but to never winning championships. The Yankees have a chemistry based on their desire to win, not based on who is whipping who with the wet towel in the shower.
Awesome-O. If you haven't already done so, go read the post below from earlier today. PEACE.
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| - Its currently 4:00am. I have a class at 8:10am, another at
9:50am, and then a third grade class to work with from
1:40pm-3:00pm. Also, between the 9:50am and the 1:40pm
activities, I have to get some things together for the 1:40pm with the
third graders, as well as pick up several articles from the LRC that I
need to read and report on over the weekend.
With such a full day ahead, one would think I would want a full night's
sleep before hand to make sure that I was ready and full of energy,
capable of embracing any challenges that would meet me in the
forthcoming day. HAHA, nope. I played Tiger Woods 2005
until about 10 minutes ago, which contains the same addictive
properties as a big fat smoking dooby full of niccotine, heroin, crack,
more heroin, and gambling. I made my golfer have blue facial hair
with bleached blonde cornrows. Does it get any better?
Anyway, the reason that I've come here is not to talk about Tiger
Woods. Its to talk about Pepsi. A recent online
conversation with my friend Liz (who also enjoys staying up until
ridiculous hours) brought some serious questions about Pepsi into our
heads. Consider this:
Pepsi has two products which have what I will refer to as "very low"
calorie counts. Diet Pepsi, which has 0 calories per serving, and
Pepsi One, which has 1 calorie per serving. GREAT! How is
this possibly necessary? Is there someone out there who is on a
strict diet, and the 1 calorie of Pepsi One will put them over the
limit? Is a calculus student out there who is looking to consume
the limit as x approaches 0 of possible calories without actually
hitting 0, that they would need a product with 1 but not 0 calories?
Allow me to provide you other examples of things that would have an
equal level of ridiculousness but that don't actually exist, because
people know better than to be this ridiculous:
1. A hot dog that is 12.01 inches long, because a footlong hotdog was too short.
2. A computer with a 734 MHz processor, leaving the 733MHz processors in the dust.
3. A new trendy diet which allows people to lose that 1 pound
that they've been trying to kick for years but have never been able to
keep off.
Please feel free to add your own comments with similar possible
situations that you can think of. I'd be curious to read them.
However, to get back to the whole Pepsi debauchle, I saught some
answers. I checked the Pepsi website to see exactly what the
difference was, and why such a similarity in products would be
necessary. Here is what I found.
Regular Pepsi has 100 calories per serving.
Below that on the Pepsi scale is a product that I was unaware of called
Pepsi Edge. It has 50 calories per serving, along with less sugar
and fewer carbs (Sugar IS a carb. THESE TWO THINGS MEAN THE SAME
THING) as regular Pepsi. Basically here, you get to drink 2
Pepsis instead of 1 Pepsi. The ratio of Pepsi Edge to Pepsi is
2:1.
Next comes the aftorementioned Pepsi One. Pepsi claims that Pepsi
One has a "great cola taste with only one calorie." It uses a new
sweetener called Ace-K ("Big Slick" to most of you out there) but they
call it "Sunnet" (lame). They say, "Pepsi ONE is the drink for
anyone who doesn't want to compromise taste for fewer calories."
The ratio here of Pepsi One to Pepsi is a remarkable 100:1.
Finally comes Diet Pepsi. Diet Pepsi has 0 calories, and is
extremely pissed off. The reason for this is because, as Pepsi
says, "Pepsi ONE is the drink for anyone who doesn't want to compromise
taste for fewer calories." Therefore, according to Pepsi, Diet
Pepsi DOES compromise taste for fewer calories. It is no wonder
Diet Pepsi is so upset. Hearing this is like hearing your father
say that he loves your brother better than he loves you because your
brother is better at ballet. I, for one, enjoy Diet Pepsi, if not
for the taste, than for this reason: The ratio of Diet Pepsi to Pepsi
is UNDEFINED. Its like division by 0. I can drink as many
Diet Pepsis as I want, and still never add up even to the amount of
calories in a Pepsi ONE, let alone a full blown Pepsi.
All this to say that I am tired and its time for bed. I'll end
with a cool quote that I read in the Physics Lecture Hall while
watching Desperado on the big screen in there one night at 1:00am
(having a roommate who works in the PLH has its perks) ...
"Black holes are where God divided by zero." - Steven Wright
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